But above all — and perhaps more important than how similar you are — is how much you each come to develop a sense of a shared identity. In terms of how much similarity affects relationships, lead researcher Manon van Scheppingen and her colleagues explain that virtually all previous research has taken an all-or-nothing approach , without factoring in the more nuanced question of whether the effect depends on the specific traits you are talking about and the relative score each partner has on those traits.
To take one example, common sense would suggest that if both partners are highly conscientiousness, then similarity in that case might well be beneficial. But if one partner has very low conscientiousness, it may actually be better for the relationship if the other partner differs from them and has more conscientiousness — leading to a kind of beneficial compensation effect.
Most of the time a perfect match was not beneficial. The standout exception, but only for women, was agreeableness: a trait associated with trusting others and having more empathy.
Less clear-cut, but also in favour of a similarity effect for both men and women, was a degree of similarity in openness a trait associated with enjoying new experiences and appreciating art and culture.
This tentative finding of a similarity effect for openness chimes with another recent paper that looked whether there is any connection between how similar partners are and how long their relationship lasts.
They think nothing of pushing boundaries with — or for — someone they love or for almost any other good reason. Their energy may not always maintain consistent focus and direction, but that can make being with them even more exciting. Did any of that sound like your cup of tea? There are no incompatible personality types, but everyone has their own preferences. Not a member yet? Create a free profile by taking our personality test or entering your results yourself.
N and Thinking T personality types, known for their rationality, impartiality, and intellectual excellence. Take the Test. Free Personality Test Personality Types. Log In. Take this quiz to find out how old you will be when you tie the knot with your sweetheart. Best of luck, Questions: 10 Attempts: Last updated: Sep 23, Sample Question. After all, you went there to have fun.
Turn around and walk out. Smile and wave. Most people know that a name holds a lot of power, and the name that your future husband has is going to be your name too. Wonder what But studies consistently show that the best choices for a life partner are people who display two very specific traits: conscientiousness and self-control. What do conscientiousness and self-control have to do with romance? Quite a lot it turns out.
In a piece on the Psychology Today website that was published a few years ago but is still popular today, psychologist Jeremy Nicholson lays out the research that supports this approach. One study shows that "partners of individuals high in self-control trust those partners more," he writes. It turns out that trust is well placed, because three different studies show that romantic partners with high self-control were much likelier to be faithful to their lovers than those with lower self-control.
You might be attracted to passion and spontaneity, but if you want a monogamous relationship and a faithful partner, you'll do better if you look for someone with good self-control.
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